Holiday Special
Its the day after Thanksgiving - I am listening to my first ‘legitimate’ Christmas carols right now (granted... I busted them out a couple times around july...)
Yesterday (actual Thanksgiving) was wonderful. A friend and I went to the imports shop and totally did it up - buying a 5.7kg turkey (12.5 lbs?) - which we actually managed to fit inside a chinese oven, and roast more than properly. (Best turkey roasting of my life... and on my first try! hah - I think I might have even beaten my father out on this one ~ though his gravy making skills and multi-tasking for a large gathering still beat me out hands down. For now...)
It was a task and a half. Cooking in a chinese sized kitchen for Thanksgiving is certainly difficult. Fortunately my friend has an oven, but otherwise, there was a massive shortage of everything but ingredients. It was intense - using a pie pan, a cast Iron skillet (an awesome relic that my Oklahoman friend had delivered via parentals earlier on in his time in China), and a few miscellaneous oven-survivable bowls, we managed to put out the following magnificent spread.
- A 5.7kg Turkey roasted to sinful perfection with butter inserted between the skin and the breast just like all the youtube videos told me to. we trussed the turkey with tinfoil rope that we made.... it looked like we were trying to block out some aliens... but it totally worked - with no added ‘foil flavors’. OH... and the turkey came with not only the organs and the neck... but the head as well - with the tongue intact.
- Cornbread stuffing made from scratch courtesy of my Oklahoman friend - Phenomenal... and I dont particularly care for corn, or cornbread... This was a chore and no mistake. The first time was attempted with an evidently legendary Oklahoman brand... which failed to rise to the challenge (da dum tch). So I reminded him that cornbread from scratch was really easy to make... and there just happened to be a lot of corn-flour/meal in a bag at the back of the kitchen. After doing some... ‘math’... he adjusted the recipe to fit our solitary pie pan. Batch two finished cooking, and we sampled it... and promptly got cotton-mouth from how salty it was. Batch THREE! I was preparing my own something that I can’t exactly recall, and I look over and watch my Oklahoman friend pull out the salt dish and nonchalantly shake a ‘measure’ from the dish into the dry cornbread ingredients. I gave his action an odd look and decided to ask him... “hey buddy? I thought we decided that last time was salty?” He looked at me and said “Thats salt? oh NO! I thought that was the sugar” No wonder last time was so salty!” And cue bout of cursing. . .(...) . . . and close. Pitch that batch of dry mix, and BATCH FOUR! this time it was a smashing success - quite possibly the most delicious cornbread I've had in a long time (tragedy heightens taste I’m convinced). From this magnificent stock, the stuffing was made.
- A pumpkin pie made completely from scratch. That means... I took Chinese elongated pumpkin, and by degrees, turned it into puree because canned pumpkin is clearly impossible to achieve - even at the import store. I ground the cinnamon bark, whole cloves and ginger in my coffee grinder (for the future... just mince the ginger... its wet and so the other ingredients cake to the walls of the coffee grinder... making the grinding a much more time consuming effort). AND I made the pastry-crust myself. I think the only way I could have possibly been more thorough is if I grew the ingredients, milled the flour, milked the cow and churned the butter, and harvested the cinnamon bark from a tree with my teeth.
- Mashed potatoes
- Sweet potatoes (roasted by the local guys... and doctored up with sweetened condensed milk, sin, butter(same thing), and brown sugar)... not quite my father’s legendary sweet-potatoe souffle... but ridiculously popular none-the-less.
- Olives - both green and black
- Corn
- and some sort of stubborn gravy... oh well - who cares... Chinese dont even know what it is anyways.
There were 3 Americans, 5 Chinese, a Chinese-American baby, and a Filipino.
I started on the pumpkin the night before, biked home, and then biked back the next morning to a day filled with cooking. It was wonderful.
The reason I love Thanksgiving so much is that it has so few rules. There needs to be Turkey (or if otherwise unachievable .... some sort of roast fowl! possibly even roast beast), there needs to be orange gourd pie (colour change might be tolerated)... and some delicious beverages.
You are free to enjoy your friends and go overboard on gluttony.
Other seasons have so many pre established demands to meet, the inevitable non-meeting of those demands, and the tragic results that follow.
So let me say what I am thankful for:
- I am thankful for an adventure that many do not have the opportunity to have.
- Friends that are willing to open up their home and be multi-cultural (and multi-lingual ^_^).
- An import store that actually brought in turkeys.
- A wealth of culinary information available on the internet.
- People who are willing to try something new - and be open to liking it.
---
I won’t pretend, I burned with desire for the CanIL kitchen (a fully stocked kitchen at my University), but I was pleased as punch nonetheless.
It also gave me a picture of what it really means to have an international lifestyle. There was a sense of home, but it was very mobile, and not the same ‘home’ as you would expect during the holidays back in one’s country of origin. Living an international life means forever being ‘displaced,’ but still finding moments of belonging. It means finding a refuge in someone else’s apartment as you work together to celebrate something that everyone else doesn’t have experience with. It means picking up turkey with chopsticks and eating pie out of a bowl (also with chopsticks).
What do they say? When its dark outside, the best burn their brightest.
Just another chance to spread one’s wings then isn’t it?
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Day 6
Day 6 Out - Sunday
Nearing a week from when I took my leave from the old company.
Today is my second day teaching at the IELTS center. I’m finding that it is very difficult to feel like i’ve done a good job teaching when I’m not fully certain what is supposed to come out of the class. What do you really want to get out of the class when it is called “overseas intensive... speaking” their English is already fairly good... so honestly the class lacks a lot of structure. I cover grammar issues as they come up, and build vocabulary and point everything towards being able to fill the speaking section of the IELTS test. Basically trying to raise the number of “conversationalists.” I guess I am cynical because I wouldn’t really want to study a language this way myself. I suppose if you are in a country where you can’t have a conversation with someone in the language you are learning on a daily basis... it would be worth paying for... but it just feels kind of ‘forced’ or manufactured to me.
One thing I was thinking about yesterday is that teaching English is one of those businesses that fictitious. The product is in your head. You can convince yourself that you either have or have not received the product. Not to mention, there is a definite amount of inherent irreverence that comes with “buying” a society’s means of expression. Thats like trying to buy an artist’s talent or a singer’s voice (ursula did it!).
And then there is the whole issue of... measuring the delivery of that product. How do you as the “customer” evaluate delivery. Most people have no formal language training, and no REAL way to measure their success aside from a general feeling, and half of that feeling is most often whether or not they “like” their school. What kind of criteria is that?
Thats why I like grammar... and also why a lot of foreigners have such a hard time with Chinese... because the grammar is very difficult to evaluate or focus on directly(especially without a massive vocabulary).
---
Ha... Ha... Ha
After my last class, I decided that I wanted to go shopping. The mall complex I wanted to visit is pretty close to where I work, so why not. I have stacks of cash and a need for some super-fly winter clothes, in addition to the pent up urge to... i dunno - exert myself in some way shape or form and violence is kind of out of the question.
I stashed my computer and books in the lockable cabinet in the office and biked to the mall. Heading down to the bottom floor, I revisited the shop where I got my awesome jacket about a month ago having decided that their style was along the lines of super-flyness I was looking for. Browsing all over the place, the store girl who attached herself to me and I started pulling things left and right. The store is so super fly that most of the sizes are designed to look skinny on asian boys... so I was about 2 sizes too big for a number of things. I was particularly interested in sweaters, dress shirts, pants... ok everything.... Though, the pants I pulled were supposed to fit a slim Chinese (thats slim from the Chinese point of view...), not to mention I have generous buttocks, the likes of which I have not seen on Chinese in my weight class.
I found some straight up Cinderella grade boots - that is... they fit perfectly on the first time... not that they are made of glass and or are going to land me a man (ahem...). Im not sure if they’re Italian or French... Dior? Im not particularly loyal either way... I was just glad to find real leather in a classy shape with well placed buckles.
Bought the boots, a re-invented 70’s grade plaid sweater vest, a pretty awesome suit jacket and a chalk stripe sweater with a low neckline.
WOw.... this is a really revealing blog. I dont think i’ve ever written down just how much I enjoy fashion. Totally blossomed into it too. I was the kid who wore a speedo the entire summer, obsessed over overalls and had at least 3 colours of corduroys until about 16. (Their a wonderful choice for pants dangit!)
Finally deciding that I had milked the store for everything I wanted, having turned down two shirts that I wasn't completely in love with, I got up to the counter and we totaled up my conquest. ¥953 Flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip ¥1000 hard earned and gladly spent.
NEXT STORE! (What?! I wasnt DONE yet!)
Total off chance... I went into a jeans shop and ended up with a whole lot more ^_^. See... totally glad I dont have a wife and children to feed :D. At first the shop girl swooped in and started doing her thing, but when the guy started noticing that we had similar tastes... he stepped in and took over. Not gonna lie - totally glad he did, because I ended up with just the kind of super-fly togs I was looking for. Baring a whole lot of extra explanation... I got: a really cool non-standardly pocketed grey-blue collared button down, a pair of moderately dark wash jeans with some seriously technicolored “crude” stitching and a heavy zippered sweater with predominately blue-black mixed body with black cuffs and “belt-line” I had to convince myself to be a little more rational, so I waited on the thermal (puffy) vest and scarf... only to come back after dinner to claim the vest.
Same sort of thing - turned to the counter and totaled up my conquest. This time ¥778 or so (¥257 for the vest after the fact) - Flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip (flip flip flip) got myself a VIP card and an invitation to go hang out with fashionable shop dude too. HAH! Just might take him up on it too ~ I need some randomly made friends.
Dinner was an interesting affair. I was on auto pilot to the Indian restaurant, but had a reflective moment that this was not a time for “routine” It was time for new! SO, I headed into the sushi restaurant. It was fashioned after the more metropolitan style sushi restaurants with the conveyer belts and colour coordinated plates. Fortunately there was a ‘by order’ menu available, because the premade stuff did not look particularly awsome. I ordered sushi for the first time in ten long and sad months. Honestly it by no means matches up the glory of Vancouver sushi... but it served me in my moment of need... and made me concrete my need to go to Japan some day to visit and then perhaps stick around for work and language number 4 ^_^.
Well... Im all shopped out and tired... and I have to teach two 3hour classes tomorrow... so Imma go to bed and dream of Mao’s red face flying away from me as I pose in my luscious vestments.
In all - over ¥2000 Pretty good for a Teenage girl with credit card moment I’d say. OH and cash that you’ve earned is by FAR more validating than plastic you haven’t.
--
This is a “next day description” as I am looking back on yesterday this morning. Taking a shopping spree was something I wanted to do, not just to be opulent ^_^, not to further perpetuate the “foreigner” image to Zhengzhou people, but because I think I just wanted to have something to show for all the work I’ve been doing. I have had this sort of growing fear that in a few years i’ll change careers and not have something to show for the “work” I did in China. The reason I came wasn’t for work - it was for language and culture, and im definitely growing in those ways. I without a doubt have something to show on those planes, however the ‘work’ side has been bothering me.
I have this gnawing feeling that most of what I do is performing rather than fully constructive teaching. I DO teach. I DO provide an environment to learn, and I have seen my students learning, but I still have this sort of impotency complex when it comes to “real” teachers. I keep thinking its going to play out like a movie and i’m going to have performed for a few years and then im going to meet a “real teacher” who is going to totally overshadow me.
I’m not as vain or competitive as I pretend to be :D, I dont mind being “second” in certain things as long as I am doing my best and growing in the way I am capable. On that level - comparison is not a truly fitting measure of success to me.
What I DO mind though is “faking it” for a few years and having palsied/ deficient skills in comparison to someone who has had real and cultivating experience.
I am not saying that my experience is not valuable. It has been. It has also been a lot of time trying to avoid the rocks though. There has been no feedback loop except people showering me with kisses ~ and you know what they say about people who multiply kisses...
So here I am being as completely honest as I can about the situation. I went shopping because I think it is fun, because it gives me an outlet for expression even when my words don’t work, it gives me something to show for all of the hours of performances i’ve put on, and it makes me feel like there is at least some sort of reason that I am working as much.
I have been so busy working for the past basically month and a half that I’ve only gotten through one chapter of my Chinese book. Theres only 2 left dangit! But being jostled around so much has made sitting down and focusing on written Chinese very difficult. I have however had ABUNDANT speaking practice these days. More and more I am having full conversations with people. I get a massage - bam conversation about something... possibly ending in me getting chastised for making so much money (How do “you (Chinese massage dude)” think it is a good Idea to ask me how much money I make and then chastise me for it because it is way above the average Chinese university graduate. To quote Rob Roy (loosely), “I don’t show you my mind to be flayed for it!”) The girls never chastise me... meh.
I go shopping - bam conversation. I go to work at the VIP center - SHAZAM conversations all day long. I go to my oklahoman friend’s house - bam conversation because their folks dont speak English. Its a circle of verbal practice all over the place. I could definitely go for some book study now though. I need more words, and picking up words in conversation through Chinese is a little more difficult than Spanish because they are short and sound the same as a gazillion other words.
Love you all, time to start my day.
-Peter
Nearing a week from when I took my leave from the old company.
Today is my second day teaching at the IELTS center. I’m finding that it is very difficult to feel like i’ve done a good job teaching when I’m not fully certain what is supposed to come out of the class. What do you really want to get out of the class when it is called “overseas intensive... speaking” their English is already fairly good... so honestly the class lacks a lot of structure. I cover grammar issues as they come up, and build vocabulary and point everything towards being able to fill the speaking section of the IELTS test. Basically trying to raise the number of “conversationalists.” I guess I am cynical because I wouldn’t really want to study a language this way myself. I suppose if you are in a country where you can’t have a conversation with someone in the language you are learning on a daily basis... it would be worth paying for... but it just feels kind of ‘forced’ or manufactured to me.
One thing I was thinking about yesterday is that teaching English is one of those businesses that fictitious. The product is in your head. You can convince yourself that you either have or have not received the product. Not to mention, there is a definite amount of inherent irreverence that comes with “buying” a society’s means of expression. Thats like trying to buy an artist’s talent or a singer’s voice (ursula did it!).
And then there is the whole issue of... measuring the delivery of that product. How do you as the “customer” evaluate delivery. Most people have no formal language training, and no REAL way to measure their success aside from a general feeling, and half of that feeling is most often whether or not they “like” their school. What kind of criteria is that?
Thats why I like grammar... and also why a lot of foreigners have such a hard time with Chinese... because the grammar is very difficult to evaluate or focus on directly(especially without a massive vocabulary).
---
Ha... Ha... Ha
After my last class, I decided that I wanted to go shopping. The mall complex I wanted to visit is pretty close to where I work, so why not. I have stacks of cash and a need for some super-fly winter clothes, in addition to the pent up urge to... i dunno - exert myself in some way shape or form and violence is kind of out of the question.
I stashed my computer and books in the lockable cabinet in the office and biked to the mall. Heading down to the bottom floor, I revisited the shop where I got my awesome jacket about a month ago having decided that their style was along the lines of super-flyness I was looking for. Browsing all over the place, the store girl who attached herself to me and I started pulling things left and right. The store is so super fly that most of the sizes are designed to look skinny on asian boys... so I was about 2 sizes too big for a number of things. I was particularly interested in sweaters, dress shirts, pants... ok everything.... Though, the pants I pulled were supposed to fit a slim Chinese (thats slim from the Chinese point of view...), not to mention I have generous buttocks, the likes of which I have not seen on Chinese in my weight class.
I found some straight up Cinderella grade boots - that is... they fit perfectly on the first time... not that they are made of glass and or are going to land me a man (ahem...). Im not sure if they’re Italian or French... Dior? Im not particularly loyal either way... I was just glad to find real leather in a classy shape with well placed buckles.
Bought the boots, a re-invented 70’s grade plaid sweater vest, a pretty awesome suit jacket and a chalk stripe sweater with a low neckline.
WOw.... this is a really revealing blog. I dont think i’ve ever written down just how much I enjoy fashion. Totally blossomed into it too. I was the kid who wore a speedo the entire summer, obsessed over overalls and had at least 3 colours of corduroys until about 16. (Their a wonderful choice for pants dangit!)
Finally deciding that I had milked the store for everything I wanted, having turned down two shirts that I wasn't completely in love with, I got up to the counter and we totaled up my conquest. ¥953 Flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip ¥1000 hard earned and gladly spent.
NEXT STORE! (What?! I wasnt DONE yet!)
Total off chance... I went into a jeans shop and ended up with a whole lot more ^_^. See... totally glad I dont have a wife and children to feed :D. At first the shop girl swooped in and started doing her thing, but when the guy started noticing that we had similar tastes... he stepped in and took over. Not gonna lie - totally glad he did, because I ended up with just the kind of super-fly togs I was looking for. Baring a whole lot of extra explanation... I got: a really cool non-standardly pocketed grey-blue collared button down, a pair of moderately dark wash jeans with some seriously technicolored “crude” stitching and a heavy zippered sweater with predominately blue-black mixed body with black cuffs and “belt-line” I had to convince myself to be a little more rational, so I waited on the thermal (puffy) vest and scarf... only to come back after dinner to claim the vest.
Same sort of thing - turned to the counter and totaled up my conquest. This time ¥778 or so (¥257 for the vest after the fact) - Flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip (flip flip flip) got myself a VIP card and an invitation to go hang out with fashionable shop dude too. HAH! Just might take him up on it too ~ I need some randomly made friends.
Dinner was an interesting affair. I was on auto pilot to the Indian restaurant, but had a reflective moment that this was not a time for “routine” It was time for new! SO, I headed into the sushi restaurant. It was fashioned after the more metropolitan style sushi restaurants with the conveyer belts and colour coordinated plates. Fortunately there was a ‘by order’ menu available, because the premade stuff did not look particularly awsome. I ordered sushi for the first time in ten long and sad months. Honestly it by no means matches up the glory of Vancouver sushi... but it served me in my moment of need... and made me concrete my need to go to Japan some day to visit and then perhaps stick around for work and language number 4 ^_^.
Well... Im all shopped out and tired... and I have to teach two 3hour classes tomorrow... so Imma go to bed and dream of Mao’s red face flying away from me as I pose in my luscious vestments.
In all - over ¥2000 Pretty good for a Teenage girl with credit card moment I’d say. OH and cash that you’ve earned is by FAR more validating than plastic you haven’t.
--
This is a “next day description” as I am looking back on yesterday this morning. Taking a shopping spree was something I wanted to do, not just to be opulent ^_^, not to further perpetuate the “foreigner” image to Zhengzhou people, but because I think I just wanted to have something to show for all the work I’ve been doing. I have had this sort of growing fear that in a few years i’ll change careers and not have something to show for the “work” I did in China. The reason I came wasn’t for work - it was for language and culture, and im definitely growing in those ways. I without a doubt have something to show on those planes, however the ‘work’ side has been bothering me.
I have this gnawing feeling that most of what I do is performing rather than fully constructive teaching. I DO teach. I DO provide an environment to learn, and I have seen my students learning, but I still have this sort of impotency complex when it comes to “real” teachers. I keep thinking its going to play out like a movie and i’m going to have performed for a few years and then im going to meet a “real teacher” who is going to totally overshadow me.
I’m not as vain or competitive as I pretend to be :D, I dont mind being “second” in certain things as long as I am doing my best and growing in the way I am capable. On that level - comparison is not a truly fitting measure of success to me.
What I DO mind though is “faking it” for a few years and having palsied/ deficient skills in comparison to someone who has had real and cultivating experience.
I am not saying that my experience is not valuable. It has been. It has also been a lot of time trying to avoid the rocks though. There has been no feedback loop except people showering me with kisses ~ and you know what they say about people who multiply kisses...
So here I am being as completely honest as I can about the situation. I went shopping because I think it is fun, because it gives me an outlet for expression even when my words don’t work, it gives me something to show for all of the hours of performances i’ve put on, and it makes me feel like there is at least some sort of reason that I am working as much.
I have been so busy working for the past basically month and a half that I’ve only gotten through one chapter of my Chinese book. Theres only 2 left dangit! But being jostled around so much has made sitting down and focusing on written Chinese very difficult. I have however had ABUNDANT speaking practice these days. More and more I am having full conversations with people. I get a massage - bam conversation about something... possibly ending in me getting chastised for making so much money (How do “you (Chinese massage dude)” think it is a good Idea to ask me how much money I make and then chastise me for it because it is way above the average Chinese university graduate. To quote Rob Roy (loosely), “I don’t show you my mind to be flayed for it!”) The girls never chastise me... meh.
I go shopping - bam conversation. I go to work at the VIP center - SHAZAM conversations all day long. I go to my oklahoman friend’s house - bam conversation because their folks dont speak English. Its a circle of verbal practice all over the place. I could definitely go for some book study now though. I need more words, and picking up words in conversation through Chinese is a little more difficult than Spanish because they are short and sound the same as a gazillion other words.
Love you all, time to start my day.
-Peter
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Day 4 & 5 Out
Day 4-5 Out
Oh yesterday (day 4 out/ Friday). I was supposed to get off early because I dont get any days off this week. Instead, I ended up staying until 6:00 on account of trying to sort out this transfer of ownership (who owns ME that is...) non-sense. The contract termination agreement is under question by my new “owner,” and she is at the point where... if old owner does not give in to my stipulations... she’ll have me drop all contact with previous owner, change my phone number and essentially leave her in the dust. Normally I wouldn’t be SO severe, but there is a question as to what kind of trouble can be made for me if we go through certain steps of the “contract termination agreement.” If there is room for treachery, I am certainly going to leave wide breadth and approach with caution.
Anyhow - I was supposed to get out of there at basically 3:00 when I got back from visiting old boss to try and sort out some paperwork. And... that didn’t happen
That night I was supposed to (and did... and it ended up being wonderful by the way) go make pizza with the friend. I’m more or less the one who is responsible for the crust. I have magical kneading digits - what can I say.
At 1:00 I was briefed on how to teach some IELTS (International English Test) speaking classes that I am responsible for for the next three weeks. Starting the next day. Cant say that particularly brightened my mood - though having work to do finally does make me feel a bit more useful than the cute little lame duck of a foreigner sitting in an office.
Slightly before 1:00, arriving at 12:00 was the grand lady herself - newboss. We got to talking for a while over tea (as always). As a precursor, before I go and explain the subject matter of our conversation, I want to say that this kind of conversation does not fuel my ambition like I used to think it would. Right now, I dont even know what I want... which makes the situation worrisome and frustrating for everyone, because I cannot be bought and secured, and the longevity of my “corporate loyalty” can be very questionable. The only thing to be done as far as “buying me” at this stage of my life, is to keep me feeling like i’m learning something that I deem worth learning. Pretty subjective - Im aware - Im not trying to justify it, only state that this is in fact the case.
Water on the tea-leaves, we get to talking. Once again she is talking about stock, and being shareholder and how she wants to make me a significant part of her company. She is pretty set on trying to convince me to stay for at least 5 years. She turns to the long-term benefits that the job would have for me, including a fuller understanding of China, not to mention the quality of my Chinese by that time. I would be a shareholder in a company that she is bent on getting onto the NASDAQ. For the kind of time she is asking, she essentially offered to give me the apartment I now live in (assuming I understood that conversation correctly), basically a $57,000 value in a really convenient spot. Things along those lines.
It all sounds nice - not gonna lie. However... I dont know if its what I really want. Those things certainly are not my direct motive. So I assured her that I was open to the idea, but completely unable to promise that much time. Her response? Take it easy, and then you can decide.
Thats absolutely right.
After I finally got out of there, I zoomed to a wine import store and picked up a Chilean phenomenon called “Stony River.” Its only called “Rio de Piedras” on the back... but im not too worried cause its got a seriously bodied flavor profile.. From there I flew to my apartment, dodging humans and automobiles alike on my lightning steed. Its like traffic volumes correlate to my desire to not be in it, but instead with friends.
I made it to my friends house mentally playing an incredibly vain and and self-centered version of “Eye of the Tiger.” Upon arriving, I was wearing my awesome surgeon’s mask and holding the bottle of wine. I asked them all sweaty like “AM I BEAUTIFUL!?!I” took the sponge (basically a dough starter for you non-bakers) that I had my friend make, and boosted it up to full on dough status. We then chatted it up while we waited for my Oklahoman friend’s new Argentinian friend to arrive.
Honestly - the rest of the evening wasn’t all that consequential. I just really enjoyed it. I like having friends to be around and enjoy, and be enjoyed by. These days im my own best friend. I go shopping with me, and admire my own sense of fashion and make snide remarks about horrendous shops that should be renamed such things as “The ill-dressed Homosexual” (Urban Renewal... FOUL) I’m not into bringing sexual orientation into judgements - left that behind when I was about 14.... but this store gave off a rank and ill-suited vibe.
I heartily laugh at my own jokes in the middle of a store when they don’t even make it out of my mouth. I think i’ve definitely crossed over the line into an unstable sense of “sanity” - that means i’ve got some serious creative potential right?!
Right now is a moment where I feel I am on the edge of a knife to pull out a Tolkien term. I’ve made some really cool friends at the “small languages” VIP center. They like me, I like them - mutual interest in people that live relatively near by?! no way. Not possible. The only problem is that I’m worried that certain headhunters might try and allocate me to the IELTS center instead because I can actually do an immediately monetarily measurable job (teaching... thats what the students come for right? pshaw). Im worried that pragmatism will outweigh the ideas that were discussed when I was originally brought in, and I won’t be in the environment I was looking for.
If I get shuffled off to be the groups advertising/ “the popular teacher”...who doesn’t necessarily do anything much better than the other teachers... but is really well liked - I can just about guarantee that I would get distant and go into self-preservation mode for the year and then move on.
I really hope that this doesn’t turn into that. I don’t think it will, because Boss Lady has far too much of a vested interest in my happiness to let Headhunter just put me where “it works.” The possibilities do still exist though, and they are a cause for concern within me.
OK Saturday - Day 5 Out
With severely limited prep time (due to being alerted on rather short notice and my own choice to go spend time with friends *acknowledged*), I taught 3 Speaking classes today. Out of the corner of my eye when I was making photo copies, I noticed one of the boys from the level 3 GAC class. Yea... thats right, THE fashionable pain in the ass from the level 3 class studies IELTS at the school I moved to.... on the other side of the city. Freaking ridiculous twist of fate. He recognized me “before” I he, and greeted me. I’m still not sure if he was being snide or if that is just me being snarky on the inside and not wanting to like him because he was such a pain at the other school.
I got a call five minutes before closed the class, and naturally ignored it. Getting in touch with the blighter after class - it was the kids school, telling me that the demo class was moved up a half hour. My generous buttock it is! not a chance. “Its going to be at the same time I was told, I’ve got preparing to do still, not to mention getting there.”
Schools in China (Zhengzhou at the very least) have no concept of forward scheduling. They think its fair to change things / plan them the day of, and that you will bend over and accept it because they planned it, and their normal workers accept it. Thats not fly. I’m all for cultural sensitivity, but I learn culture to operate within it and meet those who belong to it on a level they will understand, not be bound by it.
I can roll with those punches. Thats not a problem. The problem comes to a head when I ask myself “why.” If it is to create a situation wherein I am just enabling someone else's business success, then I feel like I’ve betrayed myself. If its a mutually beneficial relationship then fine and dandy. I love to serve and benefit others, but I don’t want to be someones stepping stone - some sort of pavement that is only regarded for its ability to hold up overhead traffic.
I decided that tonight was most definitely a massage night. In the process of my hour long knee-toe massage I decided that I could totally live out a year improving my Chinese, throw everything else to the wind, go learn how to give the most incredible foot massages ever (the girl said she trained in about 2-4 months), and then move on to Taiwan for another step in my learning curve... Sounds exciting to me ^_^.
And today ended once again with me being tired.
Oh yesterday
Anyhow - I was supposed to get out of there at basically 3:00 when I got back from visiting old boss to try and sort out some paperwork. And... that didn’t happen
That night I was supposed to (and did... and it ended up being wonderful by the way) go make pizza with the friend. I’m more or less the one who is responsible for the crust. I have magical kneading digits - what can I say.
At 1:00 I was briefed on how to teach some IELTS (International English Test) speaking classes that I am responsible for for the next three weeks. Starting the next day. Cant say that particularly brightened my mood - though having work to do finally does make me feel a bit more useful than the cute little lame duck of a foreigner sitting in an office.
Slightly before 1:00, arriving at 12:00 was the grand lady herself - newboss. We got to talking for a while over tea (as always). As a precursor, before I go and explain the subject matter of our conversation, I want to say that this kind of conversation does not fuel my ambition like I used to think it would. Right now, I dont even know what I want... which makes the situation worrisome and frustrating for everyone, because I cannot be bought and secured, and the longevity of my “corporate loyalty” can be very questionable. The only thing to be done as far as “buying me” at this stage of my life, is to keep me feeling like i’m learning something that I deem worth learning. Pretty subjective - Im aware - Im not trying to justify it, only state that this is in fact the case.
Water on the tea-leaves, we get to talking. Once again she is talking about stock, and being shareholder and how she wants to make me a significant part of her company. She is pretty set on trying to convince me to stay for at least 5 years. She turns to the long-term benefits that the job would have for me, including a fuller understanding of China, not to mention the quality of my Chinese by that time. I would be a shareholder in a company that she is bent on getting onto the NASDAQ. For the kind of time she is asking, she essentially offered to give me the apartment I now live in (assuming I understood that conversation correctly), basically a $57,000 value in a really convenient spot. Things along those lines.
It all sounds nice - not gonna lie. However... I dont know if its what I really want. Those things certainly are not my direct motive. So I assured her that I was open to the idea, but completely unable to promise that much time. Her response? Take it easy, and then you can decide.
Thats absolutely right.
After I finally got out of there, I zoomed to a wine import store and picked up a Chilean phenomenon called “Stony River.” Its only called “Rio de Piedras” on the back... but im not too worried cause its got a seriously bodied flavor profile.. From there I flew to my apartment, dodging humans and automobiles alike on my lightning steed. Its like traffic volumes correlate to my desire to not be in it, but instead with friends.
I made it to my friends house mentally playing an incredibly vain and and self-centered version of “Eye of the Tiger.” Upon arriving, I was wearing my awesome surgeon’s mask and holding the bottle of wine. I asked them all sweaty like “AM I BEAUTIFUL!?!I” took the sponge (basically a dough starter for you non-bakers) that I had my friend make, and boosted it up to full on dough status. We then chatted it up while we waited for my Oklahoman friend’s new Argentinian friend to arrive.
Honestly - the rest of the evening wasn’t all that consequential. I just really enjoyed it. I like having friends to be around and enjoy, and be enjoyed by. These days im my own best friend. I go shopping with me, and admire my own sense of fashion and make snide remarks about horrendous shops that should be renamed such things as “The ill-dressed Homosexual” (Urban Renewal... FOUL) I’m not into bringing sexual orientation into judgements - left that behind when I was about 14.... but this store gave off a rank and ill-suited vibe.
I heartily laugh at my own jokes in the middle of a store when they don’t even make it out of my mouth. I think i’ve definitely crossed over the line into an unstable sense of “sanity” - that means i’ve got some serious creative potential right?!
Right now is a moment where I feel I am on the edge of a knife to pull out a Tolkien term. I’ve made some really cool friends at the “small languages” VIP center. They like me, I like them - mutual interest in people that live relatively near by?! no way. Not possible. The only problem is that I’m worried that certain headhunters might try and allocate me to the IELTS center instead because I can actually do an immediately monetarily measurable job (teaching... thats what the students come for right? pshaw). Im worried that pragmatism will outweigh the ideas that were discussed when I was originally brought in, and I won’t be in the environment I was looking for.
If I get shuffled off to be the groups advertising/ “the popular teacher”...who doesn’t necessarily do anything much better than the other teachers... but is really well liked - I can just about guarantee that I would get distant and go into self-preservation mode for the year and then move on.
I really hope that this doesn’t turn into that. I don’t think it will, because Boss Lady has far too much of a vested interest in my happiness to let Headhunter just put me where “it works.” The possibilities do still exist though, and they are a cause for concern within me.
OK Saturday - Day 5 Out
With severely limited prep time (due to being alerted on rather short notice and my own choice to go spend time with friends *acknowledged*), I taught 3 Speaking classes today. Out of the corner of my eye when I was making photo copies, I noticed one of the boys from the level 3 GAC class. Yea... thats right, THE fashionable pain in the ass from the level 3 class studies IELTS at the school I moved to.... on the other side of the city. Freaking ridiculous twist of fate. He recognized me “before” I he, and greeted me. I’m still not sure if he was being snide or if that is just me being snarky on the inside and not wanting to like him because he was such a pain at the other school.
I got a call five minutes before closed the class, and naturally ignored it. Getting in touch with the blighter after class - it was the kids school, telling me that the demo class was moved up a half hour. My generous buttock it is! not a chance. “Its going to be at the same time I was told, I’ve got preparing to do still, not to mention getting there.”
Schools in China (Zhengzhou at the very least) have no concept of forward scheduling. They think its fair to change things / plan them the day of, and that you will bend over and accept it because they planned it, and their normal workers accept it. Thats not fly. I’m all for cultural sensitivity, but I learn culture to operate within it and meet those who belong to it on a level they will understand, not be bound by it.
I can roll with those punches. Thats not a problem. The problem comes to a head when I ask myself “why.” If it is to create a situation wherein I am just enabling someone else's business success, then I feel like I’ve betrayed myself. If its a mutually beneficial relationship then fine and dandy. I love to serve and benefit others, but I don’t want to be someones stepping stone - some sort of pavement that is only regarded for its ability to hold up overhead traffic.
I decided that tonight was most definitely a massage night. In the process of my hour long knee-toe massage I decided that I could totally live out a year improving my Chinese, throw everything else to the wind, go learn how to give the most incredible foot massages ever (the girl said she trained in about 2-4 months), and then move on to Taiwan for another step in my learning curve... Sounds exciting to me ^_^.
And today ended once again with me being tired.
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