Standing-By

Flying Standby is one of the most unpleasant things I can think of. It is stress incarnate. Distilled stress. Stress in a bottle: and then that bottle is poured out over ones naked body as you wait exposed and uncomfortable hoping that it’ll pay off! Standby, in case you dont know, is a way of flying, usually used by the families of airline employees. You can fly technically for free (though now its not free... just greatly reduced price) but you have to wait and see if there is room in order to get on. Well... the flight im waiting to get on is overbooked (they sold more tickets than they technically have seats for in “coach” class). And there is only one per day. And there is no other option aside from a flight leaving at the same time but from Shanghai. So it would be pointless to consider. If I miss this flight ~ i’ll have to wait 24 hours. If im very fortunate, i’ll be upgraded to business class or maybe even magical FIRST class :D and enjoy one of the best flights possible to mankind. You’re really tossing the dice on this sort of thing. I am anxious, but at the same time not. There is a sort of dull pressure and unpleasantness on my head and in my stomach that comes with this sort of thing. But at the same time ~ i’ve seen crazy things happen in traveling, and I’ve seen that at least MOST things happen for a reason. And I won’t know what that reason is until later. Maybe a lot later. Or maybe I won’t know at all. --- Lo and behold though~ regardless of how colossal and impossible it may have seemed (and there was part of me that just ‘-.- -. . .--’ i was boned) I managed to get on the flight. ANd I was one of the last two people on the plane. And I got first class ~ on a 12 hour flight. ohhhhh the money shots. i’ll show you later via pictures and graphic description just how glorious it is. It makes sense now ~ why people pay so much for it. If you’re just traveling from origin to destination... no it doesn’t make sense. But if you want to feel like the world is your oyster and that you are like the supreme commander of the world!!! then international first class is something that is hard to replicate ~ even in a mountain top hotel (though Timberline definitely wins hands down) Imagine this ~ do try: An area usually taken up by 6 seats dedicated to your own lay-down district that my dad calls a ‘pod.’ (PS he has only recently started enjoying the wonders of international first class {the only reason he’s had to indulge was to come see me... and to go home after .. -./ ... - -.-- .-.. .}) You have 3 windows. A swiveling chair that could fit an obese kiwi like it was a throne. And complimentary access to unlimited wine, spirits, food, and the generally awesome conversation of my particular flights wonderful flight attendants. There are three that have been regularly attending my area. Ms. Linda has been fawning on my like the queen she is. The first thing out of her mouth as she offers me a drink (champaign, orange juice, or... something thick that im not quite sure... some sort of smoothie maybe) is: Would you like a drink for being the best dressed person on the flight? Its not very often that we see someone as well dressed as you on this flight (and she’s one of the queens of first class ~ WTF??! whats wrong with these people in first class?) All I could do was smile wide and do my (ohhh you DO go on) laugh. I should get into extortion. I’m not meant for the business world... so i’ll just have to make sure that I leverage the business people im involved with in the right way so that I can get this sort of lavish pampering more often. Let it flow like pearls before swine!!!! Ms. Linda came back around another time (there are only 16 seats in 1st class) and offered me some sort of delicious pastry or other ~ and told me: How am I so blessed to have someone as well dressed as yourself on this flight? Look around ~ theres a girl over there in a sweatsuit that maybe fit 2 years ago, and then they go and put on those damn pajamas and take their underwear off! (first class has pajamas provided complimentary... along with slippers, an amenity kit, Bose headphones and a full set of bedclothes... sheets, mat topper, douvet etc. in addition to all the stuff i’ve already mentioned food and booze wise {God bless the booze}). SOOOOo I told myself... im not putting on the pajamas. I want to stay in this wonderful woman’s (these wonderful women’s) good graces. And as of this moment ~ im going back and forth between my three beverages ~ all of which are endless: Coffee, Wine, Water. And then the lavatory.... I feel like royalty - even though the only bit of silk on me is my glorious and evidently eye-catching english schoolboy tie. .-.-.- I got a ticket! I was the 4th non-rev (a category of traveler that is on the standby list) and last... to get a ticket. And I was told to hurry up. Naturally I bolt as fast as I can manage in slippery couture boots. customs was hectic and there was a train... and crazy ass chinese people. And then a herd of Koreans that I recognized immediately because they were all ajossis and ajummas and they were all in their bubblegum colours of outdoor hiking type clothing, but with curled, dyed-black hair, and waaaaaaay too much fake whitening going on. And then there were the anger issues. there was like a 70 year old woman that just raged in the cage on an ajossi (older man) in their entourage. she gave him a vicious kick and punch all in the space of 0.5 seconds. And people wonder why i’ve become all racist. \ Ajumma’s are legitimately scarY! and then the X-ray was taking FOREVER!!! and I was like... good LORD! I have a ticket for first class on a 12 hour flight. What kind of horrid nightmare would it be to miss the flight because of mitigating circumstances??!?? Pizdiets as my russian speaking friends would say. But one of the gate agents came to the x-ray and asked us if we were on the American Airlines flight to Chicago ~ and two of us were... and she told us to hurry up b/c everyone was waiting for us. (Its not my fault dangit!!! PLEASE WAAAAAIIIIITTTT!!) So finally we dash through the safety mark! DASH TO THE GATE!!!! And the wonderful gate agent who gave me the ticket said, “Peter!!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? HURRY UP!” No joking. So they snatched up and tore my ticket stub all lickety quick and then shooed me onto the ramp. I dashed down the gang-plank and they said “TURN LEFT!” And so I did ~ I got to ‘turn left,’ And I was (am) as royalty. .- -. -../ ../ -.. --- -. -/ -.. . ... . .-. ...- ./ .. - (which is morse code for ‘and I dont deserve it’ for those of you who are not Duri... or HAM radio operators...) ---------------- And I am reminded at this time of revelation and reveling... of one of the many lessons I’ve learned from my sister. Even though at the time we really really didn’t get along. If you don’t try new ways of life, new tastes, new experiences of whichever sort ~ you don’t really know the scope of whats out there. And if we dont get a sample of what is out there ~ then how can we go about expanding that spectrum, and add to it in other ways? Thats part of why its important to try new foods that you originally sneer at. I tried lox on this flight already~ I didn’t even know what that was. And seeing as how I don’t have the internet, I decided to put it into my Chinese dictionary. WHY?! Because when things are translated into chinese they usually have a more literal translation that explains what they are. shoot ~ i didn’t even know what insulin was until I had to look it up in my chinese dictionary to explain it to some chinese friends. Evidently its a hormone or something secreted from the ‘isles’ of something in the pancreas. How about that? there are isles in the pancreas. Sounds like an adventure in science ~ someone get the Magic School bus on that please. ANYHOW! Lox is translated as smoked something or other fish ( which as it ends up... lox is a brined salmon which is then somewhat smoked. Quite nice. Especially when its served with capers and diced red onions and a mini bagel with loads of cream cheese and a lemon wedge. Get OUT my way. It changed my mind on the potential that Airline food can achieve.) and then the champaign! So anyway, im just really enjoying the basking in this...ness. And im going to continue doing so for the next like 8 hours XD .-.-.- I know it sounded like I was bitching and moaning in the above portion about waiting for standbye. Because I was... Yes im enjoying myself immensely. But also think of the nightmare that would have awaited if I hadn’t made the flight? ALL Things considered~ the Beijing airport is a pretty good place to be trapped for 24+ hours. They have rooms that you can rent out to shower or sleep in. ~ not sure what the rates are... but when despair sets in... thers a lot of things that would just be “worth it.” Am I right? I’d like to go to Morocco. Just sayin’ Oh but back to the point. 24 hours... on 2-3 hours of snatchy sleep (5-15 minutes snatches each while waking up to make sure your shit isn’t getting stolen.) Is a horrible thing. The hunger. The feeling dirty from traveling. The knowledge that you still have another 12 hours of flight before you even get back to your country... where you’ll have to hope to get on yet ANOTHER flight... its all a bit much you know. But there was a mixture of peace and anxiety within me because i’ve seen this before. Not just standbye ~ but the critical scanarios. The situations where it seems like your stranded on a desert island... or could be. And you may be ~ But who knows what the rum-runners left behind? Who knows what sort of sea-turtles you’ll meet? And so with great apprehension I have flown standby. I suppose its a lifestyle really. (though frankly i’d much rather to just have a blessed ticket and not worry about the whole goosy nonsense of losing a few months of my life and risking a stroke on account of some sodding travel. Seek out the rum-runners and turtles in your spare time dangit!)

Crush....crush crush.

Seems i’ve got a little bit of insomnia ~ and I havent written for a while so here goes. ~ ~ I’ve been riding this totally glorious wave of synergy and euphoria. I’ve got 2 weeks left. I’m not worrying about exams, though I’ll take most of them (not that it actually matters because I boycotted the midterms and its therefore impossible for me to pass~). I’ve got a monster crush at the moment and i’m loving every minute of it. I haven’t actually told them yet ~ though I imagine its painfully obvious. I’m not even really sure what my “tells” are because until about last year... I didn’t really accept crushes as a reality and think I let them just float away on the river of my subconscious. I was/ am / ?? ~ I wanted to stay away from the relationship thing b/c my goals and dreams were what I wanted to put first, and im not willing to ask someone to play second fiddle to my aspirations. Its not what im about. So I basically resolved to not be involved until I got to a point where I felt I could... well I dont think I ever actually had a line to cross where I would definitively feel ok with “being with” someone. But a few instrumental things have happened. Lie ~ many things have happened from A to B. My goals and ideas of achieving something meaningful in life have been shaken for starters ~ and that has led to a developing acceptance of finding and spreading love and joy to as many as possible. So instead of having someone play second fiddle to my aspirations, maybe someone could come alongside and achieve the same ultimate goal. Its a pretty simple aspiration when it comes down to it. The trick is in the details : / ~ So i’ve not told this person b/c I havent made up my mind if thats juvenile or not and I wanted to express my thoughts to the worldwide web before doing anything else. Is this the modern age’s equivalent of proclaiming one’s obsessions from the rooftops. I have a hard time getting to sleep sometimes (that wasn’t tonight though-) b/c I start thinking about what that life might be like and I feel like I might be glowing like Clair Danes in “Stardust.” And the practical side of me says that its doomed from the start. Im leaving in about 2 weeks. They’ll go back to where they’re from and live a normal life with the normal monotony and out-of-left-field surprises that everyone can and cannot expect. Oh indeed~ but anyway, on to more of the recent past and near future. Blessed. Thats what i’d call the past two weeks (minus this heinous cold I caught). I’ve learned new card games and spent enormous amounts of time with incredible friends. Its not everyone that can spend like 4 days straight with other people and still have volumes to talk about and be completely content with doing little else but talking, eating and drinking with those people. And i’ve got like 4 of those at the moment. Thats biblical grade awesome right there I tell you. And so im basically just interested in basking in that awesome. And maybe learning Russian and Cantonese...

A Wave Blown by the Wind

OHHHHH I dunno man. I’m so lazy these days. I dont wanna do something... and you know what: I don’t. So there. I want an apple ~ imma get that apple... unless they don’t sell any apples... then i’ll just forget about it for a while. BUT! when it comes to skipping class, I got some real constitution! Yessir and or madam. I can not go to class with the best of them these days. Anyhow~ I’m bored with that line of thought so lets move on. I dont like being lazy. I frankly think its a second rate existence, and i’d like to go after something worth having. I’ve become obsessed with a chinese word recently (sometime within the past 24 hours): which literally means “eat.bitter” 吃苦 (chi1 ku3) ~ what it actually means is basically “suck it up” and deal with the shit life gives you. Particularly patient and tolerant folk are said to really be able to eat bitter...ness. The question i’ve been asking for the past several months is “Why on earth would you want to do that?” with a little Xtra... “thats nonsense” thrown in after the rhetorical question. The past few days especially its started to kick in that... the 苦 (bitterness) is always going to be there, so if you’re going to have it in your life... you might as well have a good reason to eat it. --- Yesterday this idea of being a wave tossed by the sea popped back into my head. Its a reference from James (to be quoted below in just a hott second.) From my perspective, to always be running from the 苦(ku3) in life means that your being lead by your circumstances. When we do this ~ we’re letting our environment define us. Because if your not willing to 吃苦 to get through this pile of unpleasant to get to the other side ~ you never actually “get” that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (yes I know that metaphor is as tangled as christmas lights in the hands of a three year old...). In that kind of life ~ your always running “from” something, never “to” something. Feel the mighty power of prepositions! So here we go ~ James 1:2-8 Consider it pure Joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, (3) because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. (4) perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (5) If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (6) But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (7) That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; (8)he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. and that I am ~ TOTALLY unstable. Funnily enough, as I was in the “falling out stage” with my previous boss ~ she told me I was completely unstable. Granted she said it in Chinese and was trying to use that as ammunition to get me to stay and be her evil little henchman... which im not so much about. -- My limited experience has shown me that there are basically 3 reactions to the idea of perseverance stated above. I’ve said it before, but a lot of conservative ~ particularly Christian....~ people push the idea that if you just “suck it up... and tough it out” you’ll get what you want. But if you dont know what you want... how can you get it? Am I supposed to want what you want? where’s this conversation going? Another is being convinced of your goal, and going through fire and water (or not) to get it. And the third is to be of the opinion that nothing is worth having... so we should just forget it all anyway. ... Theres a lot that isn’t worth having frankly. A lot of things that, from their own nature, aren’t worth going through fire and water to get to. Why burn yourself trying to get burn cream? Counter-productive much? And as with most things i’ve found that anything worth having usually is at the core of the thing you see, and that core is what grows and motivates and builds what we see. Like money... a lot of people see what money can provide them, and so they go after it. They know that the money is where the rest of the fun starts ~ so they go chasing after it. But when they get the money... do they have time and zeal left to enjoy what the money can do? (so I ask myself if its worth it...) In my experience, people are worth investing in. Money is only worth anything if it enhances the lives of the people it comes in contact with. -- So where I am at this point is: the kind of wisdom I need is