Friday, March 16, 2012


I've been chuckling to myself lately about becoming the bitter old washed-up villians in cartoons. You know... the ones that fester in their hate and malice to give themselves meaning until their hair falls out and their teeth go janky. You know... like mike yagoobian a.k.a. "Goob" in "Meet the Robinson's" I could do that... all I need is a nice heavy cape and some minions ~ possibly even a secret lair. My most recent targets on the list of things i'll crush beneath boot when I rule the world are: Ajummas... its the same thing as A'yi(s) in China... (old women...) and Taxi drivers. I don't think i've ever gotten into a taxi here in my two months in korea where the bastards havent complained where I'm going. Short distances or further distances... there seems to be no where that they want to go. Seriously... why would I want to speak Korean if it creates nothing but difficulties for me with these forsaken infidels of mercenary transportation. They inspire me to play nasty tricks on them and give no quarter. A week and a half a go or something "the other day" if you will... I and three other friends finally got into a taxi after far too many times being turned down by the snarky folk. I sat in front and totally hijacked this mans life with my good old friend: ignorance. I slathered on my nastiest midwest-city boy accent and nominally told the driver that we wanted to go on the five minute drive to Yonsei pyongwon a.k.a. Yonsei hospital (near where our homes were). He started griping up a little storm about the location... and that we had one too many people in the car... and I replied... yup... Yonsei pyongwon. It worked! YAY! screw you santa-claus ~ Peace on Earth good-will towards man fails again. Huzzah, I think my blood just got a couple degrees colder too. Ajummas then? Well the crotchety old livestock of gazillions of restaurants and otherwise run of the mill service sector jobs (restaurant proprietors, convenience store managers etc.) seem to have no pleasure in life but to tell you that you can't have something. For example... their restaurant has no small number of empty tables... but when sat down at two tables pushed together to accommodate our larger numbers, and they hear that we want to order quantities of food that they feel are not suited to how many people we have... they start bellering and snarling at us and pull away the second table. i could have spit in her face and kicked her into a gutter. At the very least, I would have been quite willing to introduce her to an iceberg fragment in Arctic conditions. So if you see me and im cloaked and balding... dont leave your drinks or children unattended around me because treachery just might be afoot...

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